The Extreme Laziness of My Boss

My boss is lazy. Lazy is an understatement of what he actually is. Laziness is a small glimpse of his colorful character.

Last week, the company has been preparing for a trade show. Trade shows are the perfect spots for our company to display our products to possible dealers and consumers.

One of our dealers called and asked my boss to send him a copy of our business contract.

Before I go into detail, let me explain our phone policy. I have to answer every phone call that comes in. I don't mind answering calls, but I also have to answer the phone if I'm in the bathroom. How you might ask? I have to rush out and answer it before it stops ringing. If not, I'm in trouble.

I rush out of the bathroom, talk to our dealer, and he says he needs a business contract emailed to him. I walk to the office of my boss and let him know. (His office is 10 feet away from my desk) As I walk up, there is moaning coming from his computer speakers. That's right. He's watching porn. As usual.

He responds by saying "Get on my computer and send him the files from your email". I do so quickly, so I can continue my urgent task that I was assigned to do last minute.

I have to log in shipment reports, write shipping labels, print package labels, and schedule UPS to come pick up our products so we can ship them to the trade show. There was probably 10 minutes left before UPS would allow us to schedule same day pick up. We are two day shipping days away from the show. By that being said, I would have to ship the packages that day, or we would have to use the "Next Day AM" shipping method, which is four times the cost of "Ground" shipping method.

Our dealer responds and says, "How's the business going?" (Remember, this is sent to my email address). I told my boss that our dealer responded. Then my boss told me to respond with "It's going good man, how are you holding up with the strip clubs over there?"

As soon as he was done speaking, the phone rang. I told my boss that I couldn't answer the phone, or respond to the email right now because I had to ship our products or we will have to pay quadruple the shipping costs.

He responds by saying "Answer the call".

I answer the call. It's an upset customer because his product isn't working. He demands to talk to my boss. (The customer knows the name of my boss)

I told the customer "One moment, let me check if he's here". Then put him on hold. (That's another rule to our phone policy. I can never tell anyone that my boss is ever present)

I then tell my boss that it's an upset customer who has a broken product.  My boss tells me to tell him that he's not here.


I told the customer that my boss isn't here. The frustrated customer then decides to start yelling at me demanding to talk to another manager. I then put him on hold. I told my boss that the customer wanted to speak with a manger.

My boss responded with "Alright, that's fine. Leave him on hold till he hangs up. If he calls back, just hang up on him. Did you finish the shipping shit?"

I told him no, then looked at the clock, and realized it was past the time to schedule UPS pick up. I told him, and then he was pissed.

He then continues to yell at me saying I need to finish things on time and so on. I then told him I would of had it all done if he didn't tell me to do it last minute, answer his calls, and email our dealer for him.

He responds with "Dude, are you serious? You just need to be on your game. You're costing me so much money. C'mon John, you are jacking off my money".

I then just walked back to my desk then continued to do my actual job. Social Media Marketing. The original position I was hired in for.

Boss, you're an asshole.